Yep, wasn't pretty. This, my friends, is what the double-whammy of pain and emotional eating do to me - 230; 45 waist; 44 hips.
I needed to put that out there. I need to see it somewhere besides the mirror (which I can avoid) and in my clothes. See, cooler temperatures are ahead which means bigger, bulkier clothing. It's easy to hide what I've regained in cool weather clothes. I see fall and winter with relief sometimes because it means I can hide.
Guess what - I'm tired of hiding! I'm tired of convincing myself that I look better than I think I do. I don't think I'm horrible, but I'm not the little thing I used to be. I have a closet full of great tops that I've outgrown - and I only gained a couple of inches.
I've decided that I will not buy any clothing for a while unless it's for a specific occasion. I have great clothes waiting for me, and they're not 2-3 sizes smaller, just one. I'm back to a size 20-22 top and not happy about it. I bought most of them in celebration of reaching that size (and the sale was awesome); I need to make sure I get to wear them before they're out of style.
I'm not going to do anything drastic, just get back to what I need to do, using the tools that I have on hand. I need to make sure I'm eating well and getting the nutrients I need. I need to get in those longer walks. I was up to 3 miles a day before pain knocked me off my game. On the days that walking makes me cry, I'll hit the floor and get in a few more minutes of yoga and/or Pilates. Yes, this girl is pretty flexible.
Technically I start over for the last time tomorrow, but today has already been a good day. Except for the 4 on the 1-10 pain scale. And the congestion. But that's another story.
It's actually a good Monday. Go figure.
Anyone else start over recently? Or come to a new and better understanding of yourself? Share with me!
Be well. Be strong.
2 comments:
I love this post, and I'm right there with you.
I haven't totally started over, but I am trying to make better decisions. I want to love myself, and love myself along this journey.
There is a woman that I imagine myself being, and inside I feel like I am this woman. But, I want to see her manifested. I want to walk out into the world, in good emotional health, good mental health, and good physical health, and say, "Here I am, world!"
Not only do I want to work on my healthy and becoming physically fit. I want to become more in touch with who I am, and who I am in relation to others, nature, the world.
What are your goals? I propose that we post goals to reach in two years... They may be related to physical health and other things too. If we meet our goals by New Year's, 2011... I think we should have a getaway together! Perhaps to the East Coast... Or to Chicago... Or something! Perhaps others will want to join us in this journey.
We are on the same page! Becoming healthier, fitter, and more in touch with our surroundings. I hate that you're in my head, lol, but love knowing I'm not alone.
I'm thinking a spa getaway? Or hitting a fab spot and enjoying nearby events.
Off to post my goals now!
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